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Ignore her. People who intentionally disrespect you are not worth your time or energy. Speak to her when necessary or when you can tolerate her. Distance yourself. Some people feel guilty when children are involved but it’s not your job to make sure she has a Yes I’m An Ultra Maga Girl Proud Of It Usa Flag Messy Bun T Shirt with the children. Its hers and your spouse’s job. ( if you are a widow(er) working with her to see the kids doesnt mean you have to tolerate disrespect) If she’s coming over for a visit or to stay a few days get lost. Find something to do inside or outside of the house. Reorganize the garage or alphabetize your documents, or lock yourself in your room and binge netflix. Let it go. It’s her loss. You’re great but most importantly you’re human. You cant make people love or accept you. Don’t let a miserable person take up that much space in your soul (mind, thoughts, emotions) Love yourself. When you truly love you some you, you don’t let people treat you poorly of who you are.